“Every moment is a spiritual learning & awakening.”
Every day, we encounter all kinds of surprises and unexpected events. Most of them are of minor importance, but sometimes they are major. Life is full of surprises and events that can shatter one’s daily routine. Let me take you on my journey of an unexpected event :
Although Wednesday, Feb 14th, 2018 was Valentine’s Day, it was just a typical work day for me. I woke up at 6:30 am, did my meditation and dropped off Shivani(my daughter) at college around 7:30 am. At 7:45 am, I had to meet a plumber, Leo, who would finish some work in my studio bathroom that he started on Monday. My toilet tank had a leak, and on top of that I accidently dropped the tank lid, which shattered into pieces. I called Leo on Monday to have the whole toilet seat replaced. We went to Home Depot and bought the new seat. Upon installing, the water pipe attached to the toilet tank also needed changing. We had to shut the building’s main water line down to finish the work, but we couldn’t since my neighboring businesses (a restaurant and another salon) needed water running. I told Leo to come back on Tuesday afternoon to do the same. He did, but again we couldn’t do it for the same reason: my neighbors needed water running. I told Leo that we can meet on early Wednesday morning at 7:45 am when the other businesses are not yet opened.
After dropping off Shivani, I reached the studio at 7:55 am. I called Leo, and he said, “I am stuck in traffic and will be there soon.” I said, Ok, and I went to shut the main water line off. Leo arrived in few minutes. I asked him how long the whole process would take, as I had to come back to open the studio. I still happened to be in my night suit. He said it may be 30 to 40 mins. I said, “Great” and started reading my book. I’m always on the lookout for free time to squeeze in my reading. He went to Home Depot to get some supplies. I was hoping we would finish soon before the neighboring businesses opened.
Leo came back with a part, tried it on, but it didn’t work. He said I had to go back to Home Depot to get another one. I was thinking, “OMG, please Leo make sure you get the right one now.” I was more worried about my neighbors. He left. Home Depot is only a two min drive from my studio. I continued reading my book. Within few mins my cell phone rang. It was our next-door restaurant owner. I picked up the phone. She was aware of my bathroom work that we started since Monday.
As the bell rang I picked up her call. She asked me, “Ruby, did you shut the water line off?” I said yes, Leo is working in my bathroom. She said, “Can you please turn it back on? I have a guy in the restaurant preparing food to deliver it to the companies at 10am.” I responded, “What? I thought you guys won’t be here.” She said, “No, every day we have catering for the companies.” I asked her, “Can you please wait for at least 10 mins?” She said, “Just turn it back on for few mins, he will store some water.” I said, “Ok”. I thought anyhow Leo has gone to home depot for few minutes. By the time he’ll be back, the cook would store some water for cooking. It will work out fine.
I went out and turned the main water line on. Then I went to the restaurant and told the guy, “Please make sure to store some water in few minutes, as Leo is back I am going to shut the water down again.” He said, “Ok.” I then walked back towards my studio. As I was outside of my studio, I heard a noise. I had no clue what that sound was.
I entered my studio, and couldn’t believe my eyes. A thick stream of water was flowing from my bathroom wall. I went inside to see what was going on. My whole bathroom, kitchen/store was full of water up to 2 inches! I ran back fast to shut the main water line down. I ran back to the restaurant and told the guy, “My studio is flooded, sorry I had to shut it down again.” He came with me and was shocked to see the state of my place. I had no clue what to do. I totally forgot, Leo left the pipe hole uncovered, assuming water is off and it totally slipped out of my mind before I went to turn water back on to help my neighbor.
I felt so blank in that moment. I started blabbering, OMG, what will happen now, what will I do, how did this all happen, why didn’t I think???? Why, what, and how took over my mind for few seconds. I was just standing there, staring at the water and my floor. Within minutes my day had changed dramatically. I had no clue where I would drain the water, as there is no drainage system here like there is in India. I couldn’t figure out where to start from. I took my stick broom and started to sweep water out from my storage room, not knowing where I was going to drain it. It was really bad. The next-door guy was so kind and offered his help. He started helping me soak the mop in the water and squeezed it out in the bucket. I started using multiple towels to soak the water. Water seemed to be endless. I had no clue how I was going to do it. The guy left after 10 mins of helping me, as he had to finish cooking food for his catering. I was left alone with inches of water, soaked towels, and my continuous thoughts of how, why, and what. Oh God, please save my floor, I don’t want to spend more money on this flooring now. I am trying to get one thing fixed and next one is already knocking on my door. Non-stop thoughts were rumbling in my head.. I felt like talking to someone. I called my mom at home. As she picked up the phone, I told her, “Mummy, I came to get one thing fixed and look what happened.” I could no longer contain my tears that I was holding back. She was feeling so bad and asked me if she could come to help me. As I heard her getting worried, I right away controlled my tears and told her, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” Then I put the phone down.
Leo was still at Home Depot. I called him and told him about the flooding. I asked him to leave home depot right away as it was getting hard for me to take care of this stupid water. I put my shield of “being strong” back on and started soaking water with the towels. Suddenly, my thought process changed. I knew things just don’t happen, it happens for us, for a reason. Now I was like, “Ok God, what are you trying to teach me here” I was simply enjoying my book, Leo was fixing my bathroom, a sudden phone call, me turning the water back on, and then, chaos. What’s there for me to learn in this situation? (That’s how I started approaching every situation in life now.)
At one point, I was so relaxed and the next moment I was running like crazy. I didn’t think the start of my day would be like this. But don’t you guys think that this is what life is all about? Life is so unpredictable or erratic. One moment we are so happy, and the next moment something unexpected happens, and suddenly everything changes. We get panicked, don’t know what to do, how to grasp the situation. Sometimes it seems like an eternity. Brain shuts down, all blank. But thanks to all the books I been reading, listening to great speakers, practicing yoga, meditation, and my spiritual journey, I am much more aware and graced with wisdom, that keeps me in check and calm. I was now cleaning and thanking God for not letting me freak out and making me so composed to deal with all the chaos in a very mindful manner. Leo came back. As he saw the state of my studio, he was shocked. He went back to Home Depot for the third time and bought a vacuum to suck all the water in. I was getting worried. It was already 9:30 am and my neighbors would be here soon. I cancelled and rescheduled a few of my early appointments of the day.
I was still mopping and gathering water from my floor. My hands started hurting squeezing towels multiple times. On top of that, my left-hand’s thumb started hurting so badly. My mental dialogue started, “It’s all Nina’s fault, (my next-door nail lady) who did my manicure few days back. I told her multiple times, not to push my cuticles so hard, as it always hurts after 2-3 days of manicure and it lasted long. Had she not pushed it so hard, my hands would not have hurt so much squeezing those towels.” Suddenly, I heard a voice. It was her (Nina) standing at my door, a little upset. Before she said anything, I told her, “I am so sorry Nina, we are trying to fix my bathroom since morning. Can you please wait few more minutes? I really apologize. Please understand my situation. My studio got flooded.” I was very calm and polite. I even wanted to tell her that “Look my thumb is hurting, and it’s all because of you. I told you so many times not to push my cuticles so hard.” But I thought this was not the right time. Who cares about my hurting thumb at this point? She was not going to give a damn. She was not very happy anyhow, as I told her to wait little bit more. Her face was reflecting her annoyance. She just gave me a look and left. I was thinking, why people can’t be understanding? Why can’t they try to be little empathetic, blah blah? Again, those why’s were hitting me with a hammer. A part of me replied, “Ruby, why do they need to be understanding? It’s their business time. Everyone is struggling for their survival, they are right from their point of view.” I was praying to all the Gods now, please, please, help me. I don’t want their businesses to get affected. I am okay to shut my studio for one day, if have to. But please God, let the things work faster for my neighbors.
After struggling for almost 4 hours, enduring my neighbor’s annoyance, apologizing so many times, mopping, squeezing towels for hours, drying the floor with big giant fan, Leo made it happen. At 11:30 am, he was able to put a new part to avoid the leak and installed a whole new toilet seat. I turned the main water line on, and went to each neighbor and apologized again. I told them the water was back on and we fixed the problem. Leo and myself started wrapping up. Clients started walking in and I was in my night suit telling them, “Sorry, we are finishing up some bathroom work, can you please come back later?”
As we got done, I started driving back home. While driving I was thinking, doesn’t life work the same way, like today? One moment you are so relaxed, enjoying something, thinking the day is going to be great, and the next moment gives you an unexpected blow. We are never prepared for those sudden jolts. Life always tries to teach us something, it’s up to us to be ready to get that lesson. It’s like everyday you go to gym to stay healthy, build strength, flexibility, or whatever you are working on. Same way life tests us every day. It can be traffic chaos, early morning flat tire when you really need to be in the office for an important meeting, or dropping off your kid at school, rushing to get to work and accidently hitting your toe, (Ouch) spilling tea or coffee in a rush, or anything small or big. I find these to be reminders for us to either slow down or pay attention to your thoughts. Those all incidents are our workouts to build a solid foundation of inner strength. A state of inner strength brings stability, and a better control of your mind and actions, so that you can cope with any situation.
I came back home around 12 pm, took shower, got ready, had breakfast and went back to my studio. As I entered, ran into my bathroom, checked floors, to see if everything is fine and there is no leak. Thank God! My place was dry and back to normal. I stood there for few moments, scanned, and reflected back on the chaos. In that moment it seemed like nothing chaotic had happened. Everything was in its place
Situations come and go, with an option for us to learn a lesson, to make us stronger, wiser, and a better person. It all depends how we respond. Keep your calm intact. Consider life as a school, full of tests and lessons. Make sure you become a good student. Fill your journal with all the lessons you learn in life.
Tips to deal with unexpected situations:
Acknowledge what happened, learn to accept unexpected situations, as they are part of life and unavoidable. When you accept the fact, it’s somewhat easier to deal with.
When situation is not in our control, (let’s say it’s a traffic problem or anyone cuts you off) what good you will gain by becoming angry, stressed, or screaming (F word ) You would gain nothing.
Research shows that negative emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration can actually cause your brain’s executive network, which is responsible for problem solving, to constrict and work less effectively. On the other hand, positive emotions help your brain generate more creative solutions to problems.
We are more reactive than responsive. There’s a big difference between the two. Reactions are very quick, almost like a reflex. On the other hand, a response is something you consciously choose to do based on a more thoughtful assessment of a situation.
Practice mindfulness on a regular basis is another great way to increase your ability to pause before acting. Meditating even 5-10 minutes a day can bring a great change in life.
We are so devoted to making situations worse by panicking or stressing. There is always a voice inside us creating ruckus. We need to find out if the voice is helpful or just a rhetoric? There is always a higher way to deal with the situations, than being reactive. When you are calm, possess inner peace, emotional detachment and inner strength, external events lose their power over you. You stop getting agitated and losing your composure, when surprises enter your life, and also when you face unexpected situations.
Let’s try to practice being more Responsive than Reactive.
Love…
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